Switchfoot - On Fire

It's been awhile,yo. How are you doing? Sorry if I have been emotionally disconnected from everyone. Can be said i've been pretty happy lately..My outlook has improved tremendously the past four days. Although nothing amazingly life changing had happened but a few things did. And it made me realize that i should be somewhere, not now but sometime. I don't feel like explaining it too much. I'm afraid i wont say it right and I hate to think that i have been fooled again. There's a line in the above mentioned song which goes " ....You are the hope I have for change.....You are the only chance I'll take...." I've been focusing too much on something that isn't really there and it made me so fake and useless. Even if i was aware of it at the time i could do nothing to stop it. Partly because in some sick twisted way i have to feel like a fool, i have to be lost for awhile. this kind of river has to run its course. That said if you ever find yourself feeling that way please fight the whole time. You should never just take it for granted that its just a learning thing and one morning you will wake up with a good outlook. Man am i bullshitting...
My life shifted the most during the last studio project back in february. And i am grateful to the person responsible for it. Actually to two people. One more so than the other and vice versa on different levels but both important and precious all the same. Arigatou. i love you so much. i never want to hurt you again but im afraid i will, one last time. I wish to treasure these moments right now, these last few months before graduation before i have to go on and live without you.